How to “Leave a legend” — 3 Lessons from Kobe
I never want to forget 2020. It sounds strange. I know. While it brought an unwarranted amount of pain and suffering to the world, it brought me an abundance of lessons and a deepening of faith.
I never want to forget what I was saw and felt when Kobe passed away, when COVID-19 became real AF, and when the Lakers and Dodgers won their championships. And most importantly, what that all taught me. Across a series of two to three articles, I’ll share what I learned from these meaningful events.
This article will honor Kobe. I’ll share what I learned from him, illustrating the power of craft and family. To bring color to the story, I’ve included the most memorable Kobe quotes and media that I collected after his passing.
I’ll admit, this series of posts is a bit selfish. When I write, I strive to inspire and support others. But this one is for me. Sometimes I forget that part of the reason for starting a blog was to document memorable life experiences. It doesn’t always have to be about sharing how-to guides or groundbreaking insight. While writing this all up is the win, a bonus would be you taking just one thing away.
January 26th, 2020
On the night of January 25th, 2020, I drove to the Apple Store in Century City to replace my MacBook charger. My drive back home was filled with fog. The fog had little significance then. That changed in the coming hours.
It’s safe to say nearly every Angeleno remembers where they were on the morning of January 26th, when they got a text from a friend or saw a tweet, communicating the loss of Kobe Bryant, his daughter Gigi Bryant and seven others. It’s a moment we’ll never forget. While painful, what followed this tragedy was moving. I saw a city come together like never before. Men, women, children all crying and mourning the loss of the legend. I’ll never forget seeing the Metro Busses with “RIP Kobe” signage.
I had heard the phrase “heavy heart” before, but I never felt it. In the moments and days following Kobe’s passing, I learned what that felt like.
Why We Grieve
I started asking why? Why am I mourning the passing of a human I never met? This Instagram post explained why.
This made a ton of sense to me. I watched Kobe Bryant my entire life. He seeped into my subconscious. His way of being was contagious. There’s a good chance he’s a major reason for the drive in me. I never made that connection and gave him the credit. Until now.
The grieving served as a great trigger for reflection. A reflection on what I learned from Kobe.
3 Things Kobe Taught Me
Kobe’s passing crystalized three lessons for me:
Define my craft
Commit to my craft through a process
Be bigger than my craft
These ideas crossed my mind to varying degrees over years of watching Kobe, but his death really brought this home.
Defining My Craft
Getting really damn good at a specific skill is timeless career advice. This specific skill, is what I consider craft. Craft can also be specialty within a certain domain or industry. Kobe’s craft was clear: basketball. In a non-athletic profession, defining your craft is more challenging. But it’s doable. Business examples of this include Amazon in its early days, which focused strictly on selling books online. Starting specific worked out well for them. I gleaned another example from, Austin Belcak, a Career Coach I’ve recently been learning from. He helps people land their dream job without applying online. His articles, courses, and newsletter deep-dive into every aspect of an unconventional job search approach.
Defining your craft isn’t an overnight process, its taken me about four years to reach a sense of clarity on what my craft is. Even then, the definition of my craft is still evolving. My craft is facilitating conversations and workshops that create impactful software and curriculum. What does that even mean? I’m passionate about using tools like design thinking to facilitate impactful workshops. Those workshops don’t mean anything though unless you take the outputs of the session and embed it in a piece of working software, a process, or a curriculum that achieves a specific result. The definition of my craft isn’t perfect, but notice that this isn’t something narrow like “coding,” and it isn’t too vague like “leadership.” Alongside the above, an emerging craft of mine is writing and video, as a means to inspiring action. Earlier in the game there, but I’m working it!
Defining your craft simplifies life. Once we are clear on our craft, making big career decisions or small daily decisions becomes simpler. Things like saying no become easier, because if it’s not aligned to our craft it’s “thank you, next.” We gain clarity on what’s important and what’s not. It’s also much easier to become great at one thing, then 50 things. Saying Kobe was committed to his craft is an understatement. To him, it was simple — be the best basketball player to ever lace them up. Anything that didn’t contribute to that, was an easy pass for him.
Commit To My Craft Through a Process
In Kobe’s book, The Mamba Mentality: How I Play, he writes:
“The mamba mindset isn’t about seeking a result—it’s more about the process of getting to that result. It’s about the journey and the approach. It’s a way of life.”
That is liberating AF if you ask me. Less stress on the results, more focus on showing up. And how I show up. Sign me up. I can do that. This also reminds me of Kobe’s epic jersey retirement speech, where he emphasized this message:
“Those times when you get up early and you work hard; those times when you stay up late and you work hard; those times when you don't feel like working - you're too tired, you don't want to push yourself, but you do it anyway... That is actually the dream. That’s the dream. It’s not the destination, it’s the journey."
Well said, Kobe. To me, it’s clear: define my craft, then develop a process to master that. Commitment to craft requires a process. A process is a routine, or a habit that I commit to making a part of my life.
Be Bigger Than My Craft #GirlDad
While Kobe taught me that honing my craft is important in creating a life of fulfillment and impact, he also taught me to be bigger than my craft. This was born from the viral #GirlDad hashtag that emerged after his passing. The video below tells a beautiful story of Kobe sharing with a reporter how much he loved being a #GirlDad. Tears may ensue.
“He died doing what he loved the most… being a Dad. Being a girl Dad.”
If you watched that video, there’s not much more to add. This example of Kobe fully embracing not only being a Dad, but fully embracing being a girl Dad, is what moves me. The man was all in on two things: his craft and family. This quote from the man himself could not sum it up better.
“There’s a fine balance between obsessing about your craft and being there for your family. It’s akin to walking a tightrope. Your legs are shaky and you’re trying to find your center. Whenever you lean too far in one direction, you correct your course and end up overleaning in the other direction. So, you correct by leaning the other way again. That’s the dance.”
Okay, ONE more on this!
“I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my game, but I also wasn’t willing to sacrifice my family time. So I decided to sacrifice sleep, and that was that.”
The Mystique
In conversations with friends about Kobe’s death I’ve often said that in a way it adds to his mystique.
Fascinating. Mystery. Awe. Power. All words that describe Kobe.
The fact he no longer physically inhabits the earth is still tough to grasp. The real fact is he is far from gone. Physically — you can’t drive more than a few miles across Los Angeles without seeing a mural of Kobe and Gigi. Spiritually — he lives on stronger than ever. Far from forgotten. Always remembered.
“Kobe on being remembered: “It’s the one thing you can control. You are responsible for how people remember you - or don’t. So don’t take it lightly. If you do it right, your game will live on in others. You’ll be imitated and emulated by those you played with, those you played against and those who never saw you play at all. So leave everything on the court. Leave the game better than you found it. And when it comes time for you to leave, leave a legend.”
My questions as I read this: What’s my game? What will I leave better than I found?
Thanks for reading! Did you dig it? If so, subscribe to my newsletter, Frankie Fire Friday, to receive similar content.