2020 Ls — Leaving a Legacy is #1

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Intro

2020. What a freaking year. Remember how stoked we all were about this new decade 12 months ago? While we might not label 2020 a “good year,” I like to think there is lots to takeaway. I call these takeaways, Ls. Learnings. A friend of mine also says, “Lessons not Losses.” I dig that too. Reframing is powerful. Let’s reframe our view on 2020. 

Over the past 5 years or so, I’ve taken inventory of my learnings at the end of the year. This year, I want to share those with you. 

I give each year a theme. My 2020 theme was ‘Achieving mastery, with LOVE.’ Achieving mastery in Research, Sales and Writing (more on this in L #7).

My pursuit of mastery led me to new ground, while also keeping me grounded in my values. I dabbled with coaching people on the productivity systems I use. I finally started a blog and began writing regularly. And I continued climbing the mountain of building a K-12 Education business. 

At my full time job, I was challenged. I questioned if Consulting was still the place for me. I received tough feedback from my supervisors on three occasions. This led to me shifting my perspective and creating a more positive relationship with the work. Amidst the challenges, I was fortunate enough to be promoted. I’m less concerned with the title change, and more proud of the way I did it. I became a Manager after taking a sabbatical, and while balancing a demanding job with my K-12 Education work. 

On a personal note, I was supposed to get married and move-in to a new place by June. That obviously didn’t happen. But boy was it a blessing. Mayra and I were taught a huge lesson in patience (more on this in L #10). 

Lastly, my family felt the impact and realness of COVID-19. Nothing life-threatening, but nonetheless a fight. Holiday celebrations looked very different. This experience opened me up to a new role in my family that I’m loving. 

That’s my year in a nutshell! Now, on to the Ls. I hope these inspire you to reflect and rack up some Ls!

My 2020 Learnings, which are now my 2021 Guiding Principles

  1. Kobe & COVID: Leave a legacy by accepting death and vocation 

  2. Social Injustice: Make a living in service

  3. Address the big rocks

  4. Define achievable metrics

  5. Test and pivot faster

  6. Do what people pay for

  7. Mastery is a life-long process

  8. Commit to craft and hone it

  9. COVID: Stay ready 

  10. Patience creates peace

  11. Pause for power

  12. Communicate boundaries to co-create better solutions

BONUS: Prioritize paid with the NBA (next best action), EVERYDAY

1) Kobe & COVID: Leave a legacy by accepting death and vocation

Accepting Death

Kobe Bryant’s passing and the COVID-19 pandemic taught me to accept death. No matter how extraordinary or ordinary, we are all on a one way street.

Death is real. It’s coming. So now what? How can we accept death? I believe one way is by accepting vocation. 

Vocation

I break vocation down into two categories: 

  1. God-given: Son, Brother, Husband, etc. (AKA family life) 

  2. Professional Career (AKA work life)

One could argue the first, is the only thing God truly calls us to be in our life. It should be the primary, but I admit I make it secondary often. We’re lucky enough to choose another vocation, our professional career. This is an important choice because we will spend a large part of our life immersed in it. 

Another aspect of accepting death is the possibility of being forgotten. I’ve come to find that not being remembered is one of my biggest fears. In other words, I’m in pursuit of leaving a legacy. Luckily, vocation helps in this realm too. I can leave a legacy by accepting and embracing my vocation. 

Embracing vocation is commitment. Commitment to putting my best foot forth with my family and work.

Embracing Vocation Leaves a Legacy

I’ve heard multi-millionaire entrepreneurs Scooter Braun and Gary Vee often say something to the degree of: your family is the only group of people that will actually remember you. When we die, people move on, society moves on. The memory I leave on my family is what matters most. 

The love I show to my family, the time and effort I give them, and the memories I create for them will create stories for generations to come. That’s a legacy. 

When it comes to work — the lives I impact and the opportunity I create for others, will create stories that last lifetimes. That’s a legacy.

How I show up with my family and the work I do is the only way I stand a chance of being remembered.

2) Social Injustice: Make a living in service

Let’s dive deeper into this idea of vocation. Earlier this year, an advisor told me:

“In fact, I suspect you may be experiencing a gestalt switch between being the high-powered consultant coming back to your neighborhood school to generously give away your professional services, and the entrepreneur who lacks confidence because you haven't made market-rate sales yet.”

Oof. She nailed it. This really landed. 

My advisor put her finger on an identity challenge I constantly struggle with: am I a full-time consultant who does what he can to give back to his community, or a social entrepreneur creating solutions to drive lasting change in his community? The former makes me want to puke. 

Before I elaborate, I want to emphasize that I am not telling you to think like me. I’m sharing my point of view (PoV), and my only hope is that you shape a POV you are equally passionate about. 

I hate this notion of — work hard, make a lot of money, and be generous with it later in life. Fuck that. I want to create change now. I want to make a living doing something I love, that impacts people’s lives. I want to make a living in service. 

I don’t want my fighting social injustice to be making a few donations and instagramming a black square. Look, don’t get me wrong, that stuff is needed to an extent. But that's not going to cut it for me. I want to embed myself in the work. I want to DO the work that drives the change. Bryan Stevenson — American lawyer, founder, social justice warrior — comes to mind as I describe this. He’s a whole model of mine.

3) Address the big rocks

What’s disrupting my peace the most? That’s the most important thing to address in my life. How do I address this disruption? 

  1. Take BIG internal action, asking myself things like:

    • How can I shift my perspective on this thing? 

    • How can I create a positive relationship with this thing?

  2. Take external action 

    • Example: Find a new job, pay for a coach 

For example, earlier this year I was really frustrated with my job. I practiced both of the above at various points. 

When I was really frustrated, I realized my passion projects were useless because my job was pissing me off so much. So I hit pause on those, and began looking for another job. 

Later in the year, in the same job but with a new role, I choose to approach this project differently. I brought a new attitude and perspective to it. And boom. Peace arrived. 

4) Define achievable metrics

When setting goals, and especially when starting a business: define achievable metrics. Too often this year I’d say, “book 3 clients” or  “grow to X subscribers.” When I didn’t hit those targets, I’d feel like crap. 

Going forward, I will use those targets as a north star, but I will define my progress and success by achieving targets that I am 100% in full control of. For example: 

  • Book 3 clients becomes: make 10 offers to clients 

  • Grow to 100 subscribers becomes: test 5 different approaches to growing subscribers

5) Test and pivot faster

It took me almost three years to pivot WeElevate’s core offering. This December, I finally decided it was time to pivot away from offering Social Emotional Learning (SEL). This learning is important, but it’s simply not what schools are on the hook for.

For years I tinkered with my messaging, thinking I just wasn’t pitching the idea effectively. Yes, there’s probably some truth in the fact I could have honed and delivered my message better. But the bottom line is that SEL is not a priority above things like attendance and reading/writing at grade level. I was too focused on what mattered most to me, not them. 

Going forward, I will pivot faster, and continue to pivot in the direction of what matters most to those that I serve. 

Some questions I still wrestle with in this regard are: 

  • How do I distinguish a call to pivot vs. being ineffective in what I’m communicating? Building something great is hard, that’s a fact. Not all struggle is bad. How do I know if the struggle I’m in is ‘good’?

  • How do I make this ‘test/learn/pivot’ approach a way of life? Something that becomes second nature to how I approach everything I do in life?

How do I know what to pivot towards? On to #6.

6) Do what people pay for

When starting a new business venture, focus on things people already pay for. As sexy as my productivity or education offering sounds to me, if people don’t already pay for something similar I will have a steep mountain to climb. To further clarify — the offering doesn’t need to be something identical to an existing product/service, it just needs to be addressing an existing pain or need. 

For example, take my exploration with productivity coaching this year. Few people are looking to up their productivity systems. Yes, there is a niche audience for this, but when starting a new business, finding this audience out the gate is challenging. It can lead to frustration or hopelessness. Instead, focus on what people really want, the big things in their life. Such as finding a new job, making more money, getting in shape. 

Once that need is clear, I stand out with my approach to solving for these needs. That’s where I get to be creative and switch it up. 

I will bring over the big sexy idea, in the future. Once I’m off the ground and established. Early in the ballgame, momentum to keep going is critical.

7) Mastery is a life-long process

My 2020 theme was: Achieving Mastery, with LOVE. Specifically across Customer Research, Sales, and Writing. 

Did I achieve mastery? Short answer is, no. Am I at peace with my progress and exploration of this theme, yes. Why? Because I learned a ton. 

I learned mastery is a lifelong process, it is not achieved in one year. 

I learned that I love sales and I love writing. I learned customer research is hard AF. 

Customer research is messy. But it’s where game-changing products and services are born. Customer research is all about way of being in the midst of a conversation. It’s more art, than science. I’m focused on continuing to grow big here in 2021.

8) Commit to craft and hone it

I’ve written a lot about Cal Newport’s, So Good They Can’t Ignore You. The central premise of this career development book is get really damn good at something. Once you do, passion and fulfillment follow. I drifted from that a bit this year. In search of developing new skills — mastery in Research, Sales, Writing — I lost sight of what I’m already good at. This includes things like facilitation, designing workshops and teaching. These are elements of the 2020 skills I sought to develop, but I sense room to package these up more clearly and powerfully. This package is my craft. Clarity on this craft will enable me to effectively communicate with clients, schools and professionals how I can best serve them.

9) COVID: Stay ready 

COVID taught me to stay ready across multiple arenas: health, personal finance, business. 

  • Health: Plenty of sleep, quality food, and a mix of wellness shots and vitamins is essential for the rest of my life. This combo makes it less likely a virus will catch me slipping. 

  • Personal Finance: The rainy day fund is a must. It’s nice to be able to use it in times like these. Seeing the market and economy struggle sucks, a recession is good for no one. These things happen though, and when they do make the most of them by being in a position to score on some sales. 

  • Business: Build a pandemic-proof business. I didn't necessarily experience the consequences of not doing so, but I’m putting it in my back-pocket for the future. It’s important a business has multiple revenue streams, maintains reserves, and is designed to stay afloat in tough economic times. 

10) Patience creates peace

Mayra and I were supposed to get married this year. Truth be told, at the start of the year I was feeling a bit uneasy because I knew we’d have to use credit cards to cover a few final costs. 

Then COVID came. It was a blessing in disguise for this wedding. We grew in patience, and our wedding fund grew too. 

We also moved into our dream loft this year. In the months leading up to it, lofts came on and off the market. There were times when we wanted to just go for it, even though the timing wasn’t perfect. We waited. And sure enough, we got the loft we wanted. It came with 6 weeks free rent and a balcony for puppy Tommy!

11) Pause for power

On the heels of the move-out story above, here’s another good learning from that journey. Specifically, rent negotiation. We were on the verge of signing our lease, but wanted to push out our move-in date. Over the phone, I made my request to the leasing agent, she countered, I remained silent… After about 5-7 heavy seconds she blurted out “I can add on 6 months free parking.” LFG! I’m convinced that my pause is what led to her stepping in with that offer. 

Pausing in conversation and in presentation, embracing silence, is powerful. 

I’ve also practiced this plenty this year while supporting someone who is mourning loss or in pain. When someone is in tears, deep in emotion, it’s easy to say “I understand” or “It’s okay.” No we don’t. We don’t understand what they are feeling, nor is it okay. In that moment, people typically just need us to BE there. And BEING, in this instance, is just listening. Pausing. Embracing the silence.

12) Communicate boundaries to co-create better solutions

It’s important I make my supervisor aware of my boundaries and commitments outside of work. When they know what else I have going on outside of work, it gives us the space to co-create better outcomes that help us both achieve our goals. 

Prior to communicating these boundaries I have to deliver value and prove that I am committed to their success. And lastly, when communicating these boundaries, I must start with WHY. Avoid making this a laundry list of requests. Explain why these boundaries and commitments are so important to me.

BONUS: Prioritize paid with the NBA (next best action), EVERYDAY

In Sales, they use a phrase that helps Sales Reps determine how to best progress a deal: next best action (NBA). 

This also reminds me of David Allen’s, Getting Things Done methodology. He encourages us to practice outcome thinking: think about the big picture, what you really want to accomplish, and then identify the next best action you can take to move closer to that. 

I was reminded this year to apply that to my client service business. My current, paying clients deserve the NBA, everyday. Before I think about acquiring new clients, make sure the existing get taken care of first. 

And lastly, no matter how wild things get at my 9-5, everyday I can complete a NBA. The NBA can be small.

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How to “Leave a legend” — 3 Lessons from Kobe

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